I have lingered too long in the waiting room, this shadowed chamber where the air hangs heavy with the perfume of forgotten promises, and the walls echo the soft, insistent drip of time slipping away. Three years — three eternities — to name the chaos within me: ADHD, borderline, labels like silk threads binding the fragments of my soul. They flutter in the dim light, these words, but they do not mend the spin, the whirlwind that devours my days, leaving me to sleep, to dissolve into the velvet nothingness where the head's storm rages unchecked. They promise remedies — medication, therapy — like lovers whispering secrets in the dark, but always the delay, the unseen doctor who withholds the key. I wait, my body a vessel adrift, growing older in this limbo, where anniversaries bloom like night flowers: twelve years since the breakdown, a thorn in February's heart; my aunt's birthday a bittersweet echo; ten years nearing since London's streets claimed me, homeless, a ghost in the rain. Valentine's solitude, a mirror of eternal alone; Sunday's despair, spilling like ink to a friend who summoned the guardians of the night — three police at my door, kind shadows checking the pulse of my weariness. And she called me selfish — selfish, selfish, fucking selfish — the accusation rings like a lover's betrayal, piercing the soft underbelly of my longing. Selfish for craving life? For the ache to end this waiting, this slipping away? I am not selfish; I am a woman woven from chaos, a tapestry of survival — twelve years past shatter, ten past wandering, three past probing my own depths, every solitary Valentine a quiet crucifixion. In Planet Hope's rose garden, I am the daffodil defying November's chill, hushed three times yet blooming louder. I am Sister Saga, oscillating between shadows and light. I am the Devil's Daughter, waiting for the reckoning. I am the one who endures, not because of strength or hope, but because I am still here — in this room, this body, this breath. Waiting is my art, my silent rebellion, the bravest bloom I've ever tended.